


By His Side

by mansikka



Series: Filling In The Gaps [33]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Episode Tag, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-22
Updated: 2019-02-22
Packaged: 2019-10-29 21:26:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17815802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mansikka/pseuds/mansikka
Summary: Filler-y stuff for 2x20





	By His Side

**Author's Note:**

> Hello :) okay this is my final piece for season 2 (for now? I don't know if any other fillers will come to mind). It's for all of 2x2 up until The Bar Scene because I already wrote two pieces about that. So... enjoy? I'll try to get to the season 3 stuff I haven't done yet soon.

"Anything new?" Izzy asks as Alec pulls up the city map in their search for Valentine. His head isn't this. His heart isn't in much of it either, even though this is what he needs to focus on now more than ever.

"We tried tracking him together, like we did with Jonathan," Clary says. "But for some reason, it didn't work."

"Magnus' wards are up. Valentine must still be in the city."

Just hearing his name puts acid in Alec's stomach. He rolls his eyes on reflex trying not to feel any hurt. Again. He'd promised himself when he left his room that he would _concentrate_. Stopping Valentine should be all he is thinking about.

"Thank the Angel for Magnus and the warlocks," Izzy says with a grateful sigh. What is it with his siblings and their gratitude to _Magnus_ all of a sudden? Not that they don't normally show gratitude. Not that Magnus doesn't _deserve_ it. But do they have to even mention him now, with everything that's going on?

"Well, they didn't raise the wards for us," Alec retorts, and it's petty, he knows it is, but he's so exhausted by all of this now. Once again he demands to himself that he focus, since there is no end to this current nightmare in sight.

"Teams are out doing block-by-block sweeps throughout the city," Izzy says, with half a look for Alec that says she doesn't approve of his attitude. "We'll find him."

They move around the table. Alec is lost in his thoughts as he has been so many times these past few hours. It's easier to think of it in hours. Magnus' absence from his life doesn't hurt quite so much if he does. The look he'd given him when meeting with the Seelie Queen is waiting for Alec every time he closes his eyes. Alec's never felt so alone. And though Izzy is by his side showing her solidarity, Alec can feel her watching him, as though waiting for him to find his words.

The aerial sensors stop his thoughts from spiraling. Alec is glad for something to do.

* * *

Alec is frustrated, the distraction of demons swarming on the city not enough, nor even resolved. Izzy reminds him they need to seal the rift, and a fresh wave of _something_ hits him again. Is he angry? Hurt? Not doing his duty as a leader, as Magnus has _left_ him to do? He doesn't want to get into it even with himself, doesn't want even more thoughts to spiral.

"We'll need a warlock," he says, already picturing how _that_ conversation will go. It's the perfect excuse to see Magnus, yet will Magnus think it is only an excuse? Of course he will. He has every reason to. It  _is_. Even though it also isn't.

"Not just any warlock. The most powerful one in New York."

Of course Izzy would say that. Alec doesn't want to hear it right now, even though it's true.

"Magnus isn't interested in helping the Shadowhunters. He said so himself."

Which is also true. And they've earned that, really, for such a breach in trust. Even if he's still pleading with Magnus internally to one day trust him again. If he can.

"He still also thinks the Seelie Queen is on their side," Izzy says. "He needs to know about the deal she made with Valentine."

"Not from me," Alec retorts. "He doesn't want anything to do with me."

"Don't make this personal, Alec."

"I'm not," Alec denies, fooling neither of them.

Izzy waits, and Alec should already know what she's going to do. "If you don't ask him, I will," she says, already walking away. He watches her walk, knows she's got a triumphant smirk on her face even before he calls out.

"Izzy, wait."

* * *

Alec tries to make himself walk to Magnus' apartment, though the urgency for getting the rift sealed won't let him take the time to rehearse his words. That Magnus opens the door and looks straight past him like he isn't even there is even worse than when Alec had come here asking for help with Max. It shouldn't feel like a lifetime ago, but it does. Especially when he's pushing the door back open so Magnus can't shut it in his face again.

"Magnus."

Magnus sighs, impatient with him. It shouldn't hurt this much. "What do you want, Shadowhunter? Is it about the demons?"

Okay here is yet another new shade of hurt he wasn't expecting to feel. Alec drops his gaze to the floor, taking a second to compose himself.

"There's something you need to know about the Queen."

"Well, if you've come to tell me that she made a deal with Valentine, I already know," Magnus throws back at him, once again trying to shut the door.

" _Wait_."

That jaw clench that Alec has seen Magnus use to control his fury for other people twists in Alec's gut. But he has to say what he came here to, they have to get the job done.

"Izzy has located the rift the demons are coming from."

"Oh, and now you want me to seal it. What a surprise."

Magnus has every right to be sarcastic, they do lean on him too much. But now isn't the time.

"We need a warlock to seal one this severe."

"Duh."

"The demons don't discriminate, between Downworlder, Shadowhunter, or Mundane," Alec continues, trying to ignore Magnus' sharpness. "They kill them all."

They're pointless words, but Alec is trying to keep them both in focus, and trying to keep himself together at the same time. There isn't much in his life that has put him so off kilter, and it would be the worst of timing to fall apart now.

Magnus looks at him, not quite a glare, but definitely calculating. Though Alec already knows he won't say no. Because Magnus is _good_ , Magnus cares too much; even when he is mad at him. Please let him only be mad at him. Please let them find a way to work this out.

"I'll seal the rift," Magnus says after a too-long pause. "But not because of _you_ , or the Shadowhunters. Because it'll save lives."

Magnus shuts the door in Alec's face finally, and Alec can do nothing but close his eyes and walk away. He makes it three paces away before the door is opening again. Alec tells himself not to hope.

"Wait there. I suppose we should portal together," Magnus says. Alec clasps his hands behind his back and stares back.

"Fine."

"I can only imagine what might become of a warlock arriving unannounced at the Institute. Even one who is doing so by request."

Alec clenches his fists down by his sides and walks back towards the door as Magnus closes it, staring at it as though he can see right through. If he could, he'd want to be remembering the times they've been in there together, when Magnus had welcomed him in instead of shutting him out.

It takes Magnus just minutes to change, but they are still too many moments for Alec to be alone with his own thoughts. He has so many things to say to him, so many words he wishes he could get under control. Magnus startles him by swinging the door open, already conjuring a portal before closing the door behind him. He stands as far away from Alec as is possible in the hallway outside his apartment. Alec does nothing but hold his position, stepping through while keeping that same distance.

When Izzy meets him, Alec is relieved to have someone there to fill the harsh silence between he and Magnus, both of them moving to fall into step either side of her. Though Izzy isn't there just to greet them, she comes bearing more bad news. This day could not possibly get any worse than this, surely.

"So she believes Consul Malachi is actually a spy for Valentine?" Magnus asks, and Alec wants to ask him why he doesn't sound like he believes it. Hasn't Magnus already tarnished every Shadowhunter with the same brush of being untrustworthy, because of what _he_ has done?

"There is no other explanation," Izzy says, and once again Alec uses her as a shield between them, moving around the table away from Magnus.

"Jace and Clary are in Lake Lyn with Valentine. Who knows how many Circle members and no military support?"

"We need to go help them," Izzy says, and of course they do. Only they can't, _he_ can't. Alec is so conflicted, reaching out for Jace through his parabatai rune and only getting discomfort back. Though if he can get a sly dig in at Magnus while he's here for being so _helpful_ …

"I can't leave when the city is under assault."

Magnus graces him with two seconds of a look that is something other than disdain. Alec knows he's being childish, but this is all just too much. Though he will take any excuse he can to talk with Magnus, even if it is about this.

"We've identified the demons as a rare sub-species of Edomi," Izzy says.

"Edomi?" Magnus repeats with a tone Alec doesn't like.

"Familiar with them?" Alec asks, seizing his opportunity.

"They're from Edom," Magnus says. "Tenacious little devils."

"So we've noticed," Izzy agrees.

"And remarkably intelligent," Magnus adds, "capable of creating carnage in any number of ways."

"Yet they haven't attacked once. What are they waiting for?"

"They work in hordes," Magnus says. "Perhaps they're increasing their numbers to reach a critical mass."

"All the more reason to get this rift closed as soon as possible," Izzy says, pointing out the rift location on the map.

"How long will this take?" Alec asks. "Jace and Clary are alone in enemy territory."

He's worrying for Jace and Clary, worrying for the city, worrying what progress Valentine is making in Idris to get to Lake Lyn. Though he takes the opportunity to glance at Magnus as he does. At least he's here with him, even if they aren't really talking.

"Not long," Magnus replies, turning away to conjure a portal.

Alec steps through last still keeping his distance, making a stupid comment about a red stain in the sand that can't be anything but blood. His thoughts are a jumble, being pulled in so many directions. Everything he does feels uncoordinated like he's forgotten how to make himself work.

"I'm not sure," Magnus says in answer to Izzy's question about the Edomi. "They don't just normally fly off into the sunset."

The three of them peer down into the rift, the heat of it coming up to them in waves.

"Well, let's not stick around until they make an appearance," Alec replies.

Magnus gives him another _look_ , though it's not a bitter one, then gestures for him to step aside. "The amount of energy required to seal a rift from Edom is substantial. It's not just a flick of the wrist."

So now Alec has even more things to worry about. He can see by the way Magnus is drawing his fingers together and the set of his shoulders that this spell is going to take its toll.

"You gonna be okay?" Alec asks, because he can't stand here and watch Magnus hurt himself for them all. _Again_. Even though he knows that they must.

"I'm the High Warlock of Brooklyn," Magnus says, briefly glancing back at him, and Alec decides that has to be enough.

As Magnus begins his magic, the demons fly out, one hitting Izzy hard and making her fall to the ground. Alec calls her name, and once she's reassured him she's okay, he turns seeking out the demon. Alec nods for Magnus', _"cover me,"_ and is determined to do just that.

This part is easy, instinctual. He might not have seen this type of demon before, but Alec has his arrows and knows what to do. But then it turns and _looks_ at him, and Alec knows a new fear. Is this thing going to come after him, or Magnus? He can't take the risk.

Alec charges back down the sand calling out for Magnus, pleading with him to work faster. He doesn't mean to interrupt him, but is relieved when Magnus sends a blast of magic over his head. Alec and Izzy make their kills and he knows relief for a second, only to turn and catch Magnus staggering before falling to the ground.

Alec's heart is in his throat yet again, charging faster towards Magnus, hopping over his leg where he's sprawled out as he calls out his name. Alec doesn't hesitate to touch him, reassured to feel the rise and fall of his shoulders beneath his palm. And that Magnus is _letting_ him touch him speaks volumes. At least, Alec hopes that it does.

Magnus is panting when he turns to look at him, his voice gravelly when he replies. "You can't get rid of me that easily."

Alec says nothing, but won't move his hand from Magnus back. He's going to help him up whether he wants him to or not.

"You okay?" he says when Magnus sits back up on his heels, relieved that he doesn't resist when he offers his hand.

"I will be," Magnus replies, and for a second there is a _something_ between them. He's even sure Magnus squeezes his fingers before drawing them away.

"We should get back to the Institute," Izzy says, and Alec is grateful that it is not him rushing Magnus. He's not even sure he'll be able to conjure a portal for how exhausted he looks.

Magnus, as always, pushes himself harder than necessary, barely breaking a sweat as he opens the portal up. Once again Alec is the last to step into it, trailing behind Izzy and Magnus as they make their way through to the control room.

"Alec."

Alec comes to a stop for Magnus' quick spin bringing them face to face. "What is it?"

"Would you mind if I… freshened up?" Magnus says, waving a hand over his face.

He's perfect already Alec wants to say, though doesn't think Magnus will want to hear it. "Of course."

"I'll use your room," Magnus says with a half smile before he turns. "I won't be a minute."

That has to mean something, doesn't it? Alec asks himself.

"Any word from Jace and Clary?" Magnus asks when he returns.

"No," Alec says, still going over and over the map in front of him. "They should be arriving at Lake Lyn by now."

"Strange," Izzy says as she joins them around the table. "The aerial sensors show no demonic activity."

"Yeah, and there's nothing on the ground either," Alec says, despairing at this latest puzzle. "It's like the Edomi completely disappeared."

"I've never heard of that," Magnus says. "Once they pass through the rift, the demons are here to stay until they're properly banished."

"Then where there hell are they?" Alec demands even though Magnus has no answer for him. Magnus turns away with a helpless gesture.

At least he's staying, Alec thinks. Though he has very little time for thinking. A sharp stab hits him stealing the air from his lungs, and Alec has to hold on to the table for support.

"Alexander, you okay?" Alec hears, but even Magnus can't reach him now. His parabatai is dying, _Jace_ is dying. And from the feel of things, so is he.

He has to look, he has to _check_ , but Alec can barely grip his shirt by the hem for how frightened he is. The rune is fading, and Alec doesn't think he can survive it. " _Jace_ ," he calls out, hit by a wall of memories as he sinks to the floor. Magnus's hands are on him in seconds, but Alec can't really feel them. All he knows is a never-ending wave of agony that is tearing him into shreds. He lifts up his shirt again, watching as the rune disappears.

"I can't feel him," he chokes out in disbelief. "He's dead."

Magnus' hands tighten on him. Alec wants to lean into his touch but is too numb. He can picture Jace's face the first day he became a part of their family. He can feel his hugs, hear his laughter, and is helpless as he watches everything fade. Once again he can't take the time to dwell too long on his _personal_ problems. Jace being gone isn't stopping Valentine. Alec has to have _some_ good come out of today.

"We need to go," he says in a daze, thankful that Magnus is there to catch him when he stands and his knees fail.

"You could take a minute," Magnus says softly, looking at him with such concern that Alec wants to be selfish, to take that minute to lean into his touch.

"We don't have a minute," Alec says, though squeezes Magnus' hand back. He gives Izzy a one-armed hug as Magnus opens yet another portal, determined to work on autopilot, determined to get to wherever Jace is even if dignity is now the only thing he can give him.

Alec looks Magnus over as he sucks in a breath before stepping through the portal. He's going to collapse at this rate, Alec thinks, but knows he'll keep pushing himself.

"We're too late," Izzy says as they step through, the sky already ablaze.

"He's raised the Angel," Magnus says in soft disbelief, and it snaps Alec's thoughts back from Jace again to Magnus.

"Magnus. You have to get to safety," he says. He's not losing two people he loves today.

"We need to find Jace and Clary," Magnus replies, once again putting others before himself. Alec wants to both thank him for it and snatch him away somewhere, demand that he doesn't be stupidly stubborn. But his legs keep carrying him forward, like they're tuned in to seek out Jace, wherever he is.

Alec keeps his eyes on Magnus' back like he might be snatched from right in front of him, not sure how he's supposed to react if he is. He bristles with fear for every unfamiliar sound around them, having no idea how he's supposed to protect Magnus if the Angel has already granted Valentine's wish. But he charges past him determined to lead the way like that might make any difference, keeping an eye out for any potential trouble.

They find Clary and Jace kissing. Jace shouldn't be here, Alec felt him go, and yet here they both are, whole and okay, though exhausted looking. He doesn't know what to think, so just keeps staring in disbelief, hoping that any of today's events might start to make sense. Valentine is dead at his feet, and the whole world feels askew.

"They're okay," he says, coming to a stop, still reeling for all that's happened. Is this nightmare really coming to an end?

"Actually, they're more than okay," Izzy replies.

"Jace, I… I thought you were dead," Alec blurts out. He notices Magnus has moved closer to him and is once again thankful for his support. "My rune, it disappeared."

"Look at it now," Jace says, staring back as hard as Alec feels himself doing. It's there, but everything still feels wrong.

"How?" Alec demands, and Jace is lying to him, he knows he is; something has happened here that shouldn't have. But then the reality of Valentine being dead hits Alec at the same time it seems to Magnus, and they're both turning to look, making sure his body is still there.

Alec turns back and steps into Jace's hug in both relief and disbelief. It can't be over as easy as this, not after everything. But apparently, it is.

There is a blur of activity. Clave members arrive and take away Valentine's body, as Jace and Clary do their best to give their sides of the events leading up to his death. Alec isn't sure how long it's going to sink in that this is really done with now. He keeps looking at Magnus, then to Jace, then back to Magnus, with no space in his head to really process all that's happened.

"I'll portal you back to the Institute."

Magnus comes to stand in front of him, ducking to get Alec's attention, which he does anyway for his soft smile. Alec wants to reach out and touch, to share the hugs he's seen Magnus give to everyone else here but him. But he can't, not yet. They still have to fix things between _them_.

"You need to rest," Alec says, worried for how tired Magnus looks.

"And I can do that once I get home," Magnus replies, his smile widening a little.

"Magnus. We can go into Idris, take the permanent portal—"

"Or, if we're feeling really indulgent, we could charter a plane from right here," Magnus retorts in dismissal. "A portal is easy. It will take seconds."

"If you're sure," Alec says, knowing he's going to do it anyway. And this time when he steps through the portal, it's by Magnus' side.

* * *

Alec steps out of his shower and dries himself off, sure he might sleep for a week. What he wouldn't give to just crawl into bed right now and forget everything, he thinks, then looks at his Institute bed and decides against it. What he wouldn't give for crawling into _Magnus'_ bed with him right now. Alec dresses quickly, toweling his hair more dry when he picks up his cell from his nightstand, heart in his throat for seeing Magnus' name.

 _"Will I see you at the Hunter's Moon this evening?"_ the message reads, and Alec has to sit. He has to hope this is a good thing, a sign that everything is going to be okay.

 _"You will,"_ he writes back, laughing when he knows tonight it will be him urging Izzy, Jace, and Clary to hurry up for once. He has to speak with Magnus. He has to make this right.

* * *

__


End file.
